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bergenergy
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 16, 2009 11:49 pm
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I'm gonna come at this from both perspectives:

My parents are both over 80, but doing fine. My dad travels all over the place as a professor and my mom takes care of a 100 year old house and is a journalist for the local paper.

They got divorced when I was 10 and it was pretty bitter. But now things are settled.

My dad lives far away, so I spend most of my parental time with my mother. I tell her lots of stories about the crazy shit I did in my teens in the 70s. She all ways acts shocked, but probably knew while it was happening.


As for my kids, 21 and 16, I am in the awkward position of wanting them to be more wild, but realizing that I shouldn't want that. I have recently come to accept that it is a 'good thing' to have kids who don't drink or smoke weed.

Basically, I would be very happy knowing they didn't do that stuff, as long as they did other stuff. It is hard for me to accept that the only alternatives to 'partying' are watching TV or studying.

Where is the spontaneous fun or action? Am I stupid for thinking that they could have the wild times I did? Should I not want that?
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 12:15 am
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Drinking and smoking aren't the only ways to party and be spontaneous. I have a feeling that they are having wild times that they keep well hidden from you.
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 12:26 am
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Yeah, I was going to suggest that most people don't tell their parents everything that is going on with them. Maybe you will hear about some of their wilder moments when they get older. And maybe they are rebelling against you by being more sedate. Think of yourself as an Edina and your daughters as Saffrons (is that cultural reference already too outdated?).
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 12:28 am
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Built To Post wrote:
Drinking and smoking aren't the only ways to party and be spontaneous. I have a feeling that they are having wild times that they keep well hidden from you.


I sincerely hope so. But I have to walk by while one reality show after another is on and don't see much else.
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 12:30 am
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heatherbee wrote:
Yeah, I was going to suggest that most people don't tell their parents everything that is going on with them. Maybe you will hear about some of their wilder moments when they get older. And maybe they are rebelling against you by being more sedate. Think of yourself as an Edina and your daughters as Saffrons (is that cultural reference already too outdated?).


I think about that a lot. They rebel by being straight.

If so, why not be straight but still have a life outside of TV and Facebook?
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 1:29 am
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Dylan said it, the times they are a-changin'.
I'm not sure what kind of wild stuff you did, but I'm envious of how confident you are in how (it seems) you made your teenage years everything people hope them to be.

As much as I'm done with high school, I don't think I would mind terribly if I had to do it all over again... and be a little "wilder". Sure we partied and smoked and stuff, but not a lot of things stand out in my memory as truly crazy.

I love thinking about adults and how they were teens, and all the crazy shenanigans they must've gotten into.
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 2:01 am
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cityclass wrote:
Dylan said it, the times they are a-changin'.
I'm not sure what kind of wild stuff you did, but I'm envious of how confident you are in how (it seems) you made your teenage years everything people hope them to be.

As much as I'm done with high school, I don't think I would mind terribly if I had to do it all over again... and be a little "wilder". Sure we partied and smoked and stuff, but not a lot of things stand out in my memory as truly crazy.

I love thinking about adults and how they were teens, and all the crazy shenanigans they must've gotten into.


Yeah, it's amazing what we got away with. I'm just starting to write my memories on the laptop. And trying figure out which ones are truly interesting and which ones are interesting only to me.

Was watching 'Adventureland' with the fam last night and noticed, with it being set in the past, the absence of police or any other type of 'zero tolerance' crap.

We took it for granted that you do all that stuff. I still feel that way, except for when driving ( a big caveat, I know - b/c how how you get anywhere without driving).



Back to my daughters and Reality TV

Me: How can you watch those fucked up morons?

Her (them): Watching them shows us how 'not to be'.

Me: That's great, but are any of these d-bags you watch on TV actually watching TV themselves?

Them: No, not really.

Me: So, even though they are complete jerkoff TV hoes, they are actually living their life instead of watching TV like you are.

Am I being too harsh?
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 12:38 pm
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My parents hate each other, yet they are still married. They have hated each other for as long as I can remember, and they fight every time I go home to visit (which is about once a month - they live about an hour away from me). I love them both dearly, but they are horrible together. I have always been very close to my mother, but my father never made an effort to get close to me until I was an adult. Probably around 18 or 19, when I moved away to college. They are both very supportive of me, financially and otherwise.

It's funny, because I was a great kid in high school. I never smoked or drank all through high school, the worst I did was skip school every now and then. I didn't smoke or drink or even have sex until I went away to college.
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 3:20 pm
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Dylan said it, the times they are a-changin'.


I always laugh at that because the 60s folks thought that the 'change' was them and that was it. But they never considered that times would keep on changing in ways that were way different from them (i.e., Reagan and materialism)
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 18, 2009 2:05 am
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happyfish wrote:
It's funny, because I was a great kid in high school. I never smoked or drank all through high school, the worst I did was skip school every now and then. I didn't smoke or drink or even have sex until I went away to college.


Me too.

I regret it.
I held myself back from indulging in high school because I figured I would go too far (used to do almost anything for a laugh---but never at anyone else's expense----often my own---that's why I backed off).
Now I am slowly killing myself!
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 18, 2009 11:24 pm
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i came home tonight to both my parents on the computer, looking at googlemaps. they wanted to see how long it took my dad to walk to a cream concert when he was 16. he blew off work, walked 5 1/2 hours, rushed the gates (him and his buddy didnt have tickets), watched the concert, then slept in the bus station.

i am now 21 and they tell me i can't go to toronto and stay at a friends house? when yet he did this when he was 17? and moved to canada when he was 19?

my parents have been married for over 30 years. they have a rediculous story of how they met. so i will type it here:

like i said, when my dad was 19, he moved to the states, michigan. he got drafted to the vietnam war, dodged it by going to mexico, fell in love with a girl from montreal, moved there, then moved to BC. lived in a shack in the mountains with 2 horses, learned english by reading lord of the rings, then moved to toronto.

at this time, my mom married my dads brother. he ended up dyeing like, 7 months after getting married, motorcycle accident. my dad was living in toronto, couldn't afford to go to the funeral. next year, it was my grandparents 25th wedding anniversary, my dad could afford to go home, so he did. they told him to go pick up my mom at the train station. so he did, with flowers. while at the party, my dad jokingly said 'you should come to toronto and visit me' my mom said she would, he thought nothing of it. 2 weeks later, there she stood on the doorstep. this was in august i might add. they got married on friday october 13th at city hall.
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 12:55 am
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neverending wrote:
i came home tonight to both my parents on the computer, looking at googlemaps. they wanted to see how long it took my dad to walk to a cream concert when he was 16. he blew off work, walked 5 1/2 hours, rushed the gates (him and his buddy didnt have tickets), watched the concert, then slept in the bus station.

i am now 21 and they tell me i can't go to toronto and stay at a friends house? when yet he did this when he was 17? and moved to canada when he was 19?

my parents have been married for over 30 years. they have a rediculous story of how they met. so i will type it here:

like i said, when my dad was 19, he moved to the states, michigan. he got drafted to the vietnam war, dodged it by going to mexico, fell in love with a girl from montreal, moved there, then moved to BC. lived in a shack in the mountains with 2 horses, learned english by reading lord of the rings, then moved to toronto.

at this time, my mom married my dads brother. he ended up dyeing like, 7 months after getting married, motorcycle accident. my dad was living in toronto, couldn't afford to go to the funeral. next year, it was my grandparents 25th wedding anniversary, my dad could afford to go home, so he did. they told him to go pick up my mom at the train station. so he did, with flowers. while at the party, my dad jokingly said 'you should come to toronto and visit me' my mom said she would, he thought nothing of it. 2 weeks later, there she stood on the doorstep. this was in august i might add. they got married on friday october 13th at city hall.


That's quite a story, Slicks. I might have to use some of those details later on in something because it's quite a random set of events that lead to you coming into this world. I always like those kinds of tales.
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 9:11 pm
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mojo shivers wrote:
neverending wrote:
i came home tonight to both my parents on the computer, looking at googlemaps. they wanted to see how long it took my dad to walk to a cream concert when he was 16. he blew off work, walked 5 1/2 hours, rushed the gates (him and his buddy didnt have tickets), watched the concert, then slept in the bus station.

i am now 21 and they tell me i can't go to toronto and stay at a friends house? when yet he did this when he was 17? and moved to canada when he was 19?

my parents have been married for over 30 years. they have a rediculous story of how they met. so i will type it here:

like i said, when my dad was 19, he moved to the states, michigan. he got drafted to the vietnam war, dodged it by going to mexico, fell in love with a girl from montreal, moved there, then moved to BC. lived in a shack in the mountains with 2 horses, learned english by reading lord of the rings, then moved to toronto.

at this time, my mom married my dads brother. he ended up dyeing like, 7 months after getting married, motorcycle accident. my dad was living in toronto, couldn't afford to go to the funeral. next year, it was my grandparents 25th wedding anniversary, my dad could afford to go home, so he did. they told him to go pick up my mom at the train station. so he did, with flowers. while at the party, my dad jokingly said 'you should come to toronto and visit me' my mom said she would, he thought nothing of it. 2 weeks later, there she stood on the doorstep. this was in august i might add. they got married on friday october 13th at city hall.


That's quite a story, Slicks. I might have to use some of those details later on in something because it's quite a random set of events that lead to you coming into this world. I always like those kinds of tales.


i know! i always wonder things like that. like what if my parents decided to move back to germany, what kind of person would i be then?
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 9:18 pm
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neverending wrote:
mojo shivers wrote:
neverending wrote:
i came home tonight to both my parents on the computer, looking at googlemaps. they wanted to see how long it took my dad to walk to a cream concert when he was 16. he blew off work, walked 5 1/2 hours, rushed the gates (him and his buddy didnt have tickets), watched the concert, then slept in the bus station.

i am now 21 and they tell me i can't go to toronto and stay at a friends house? when yet he did this when he was 17? and moved to canada when he was 19?

my parents have been married for over 30 years. they have a rediculous story of how they met. so i will type it here:

like i said, when my dad was 19, he moved to the states, michigan. he got drafted to the vietnam war, dodged it by going to mexico, fell in love with a girl from montreal, moved there, then moved to BC. lived in a shack in the mountains with 2 horses, learned english by reading lord of the rings, then moved to toronto.

at this time, my mom married my dads brother. he ended up dyeing like, 7 months after getting married, motorcycle accident. my dad was living in toronto, couldn't afford to go to the funeral. next year, it was my grandparents 25th wedding anniversary, my dad could afford to go home, so he did. they told him to go pick up my mom at the train station. so he did, with flowers. while at the party, my dad jokingly said 'you should come to toronto and visit me' my mom said she would, he thought nothing of it. 2 weeks later, there she stood on the doorstep. this was in august i might add. they got married on friday october 13th at city hall.


That's quite a story, Slicks. I might have to use some of those details later on in something because it's quite a random set of events that lead to you coming into this world. I always like those kinds of tales.


i know! i always wonder things like that. like what if my parents decided to move back to germany, what kind of person would i be then?


Well, for one, you'd be speaking German....
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 11:24 pm
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mojo shivers wrote:
neverending wrote:
mojo shivers wrote:
neverending wrote:
i came home tonight to both my parents on the computer, looking at googlemaps. they wanted to see how long it took my dad to walk to a cream concert when he was 16. he blew off work, walked 5 1/2 hours, rushed the gates (him and his buddy didnt have tickets), watched the concert, then slept in the bus station.

i am now 21 and they tell me i can't go to toronto and stay at a friends house? when yet he did this when he was 17? and moved to canada when he was 19?

my parents have been married for over 30 years. they have a rediculous story of how they met. so i will type it here:

like i said, when my dad was 19, he moved to the states, michigan. he got drafted to the vietnam war, dodged it by going to mexico, fell in love with a girl from montreal, moved there, then moved to BC. lived in a shack in the mountains with 2 horses, learned english by reading lord of the rings, then moved to toronto.

at this time, my mom married my dads brother. he ended up dyeing like, 7 months after getting married, motorcycle accident. my dad was living in toronto, couldn't afford to go to the funeral. next year, it was my grandparents 25th wedding anniversary, my dad could afford to go home, so he did. they told him to go pick up my mom at the train station. so he did, with flowers. while at the party, my dad jokingly said 'you should come to toronto and visit me' my mom said she would, he thought nothing of it. 2 weeks later, there she stood on the doorstep. this was in august i might add. they got married on friday october 13th at city hall.


That's quite a story, Slicks. I might have to use some of those details later on in something because it's quite a random set of events that lead to you coming into this world. I always like those kinds of tales.


i know! i always wonder things like that. like what if my parents decided to move back to germany, what kind of person would i be then?


Well, for one, you'd be speaking German....


ach. so

you'd be a rich euro-trash hottie who split your time between berlin and monaco Cheers

quite a parental story - talk about old school!
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 2:10 pm
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I was always probably pretty close to my parents, but since my dad died in 1997 I've become a lot closer to my mom. I really admire and appreciate everything she does and think she's just an amazing person. I completely do not relate to those "Oh my god, I'm becoming my mother!" jokes on TV and in movies. I wouldn't mind being like my mom, and I think I am in a lot of ways anyway. My sister-in-law's birthday is five days after mine, and the day after I sent her a birthday card, I got the exact same one in the mail from my mom for my birthday.

As I said in the friends thread, not being around her and my sister all the time are probably the hardest things for me about moving away from Kansas City. But she just retired at the end of October, and she and her (not)husband are in the midst of buying a house in Las Vegas and are probably going to be out there a lot of the time as soon as that's all settled, so I guess we wouldn't have been around one another that much anyway, even if I had stayed put. On the plus side--free place to stay in Vegas.
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 30, 2009 11:14 pm
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my dads words of wisdom today on having a backup plan:

"you cant walk through life thinking you wont walk into a wall, because you will, and you cant carry a ladder with you because it might be too short, so carry a ladder and a rope"

"you cant go on vacation and just bring a bikini, becuse you might forget the top then you have to go topless or wear your bra"
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 10:25 pm
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I thought I'd bump this thread because I am recently (12 days) a new mom, and I have been thinking a lot about being a parent as a result.

Seeing Evie (my daughter) fills me with so much love that I feel guilty about how I treat my mom. I've been thinking about all of our fights, and I can't imagine how they must feel for her. I mean, for me they are pretty bad, leaving me crying and whatnot, but I imagine that they must be worse for her.

I also am overwhelmed by the magnitude of the job of a parent. Right now, Evie's needs are pretty basic, but already there are things I need to do to further her development (tummy time, showing her a rattle, etc.) I read What to Expect the First Year like some people read the Bible, and I keep thinking how after the first year, I have no handbook. I guess all I can do is take things one step at a time and expect that I will learn or figure out what to do next.

Anyway, there are many, many other things that have been going through my head since the pregnancy and even more so since she's been born, but I thought I'd share a few.
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 10:53 am
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femmes wrote:
I thought I'd bump this thread because I am recently (12 days) a new mom, and I have been thinking a lot about being a parent as a result.

Seeing Evie (my daughter) fills me with so much love that I feel guilty about how I treat my mom. I've been thinking about all of our fights, and I can't imagine how they must feel for her. I mean, for me they are pretty bad, leaving me crying and whatnot, but I imagine that they must be worse for her.

I also am overwhelmed by the magnitude of the job of a parent. Right now, Evie's needs are pretty basic, but already there are things I need to do to further her development (tummy time, showing her a rattle, etc.) I read What to Expect the First Year like some people read the Bible, and I keep thinking how after the first year, I have no handbook. I guess all I can do is take things one step at a time and expect that I will learn or figure out what to do next.

Anyway, there are many, many other things that have been going through my head since the pregnancy and even more so since she's been born, but I thought I'd share a few.


Congratulations! I remember you posted a few weeks ago that you were pregnant, so when I saw you had a new post in this thread I was excited to read it. It sounds like you are a great mother so far, and Evie is such a pretty name Smile
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 12:58 pm
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Congratulations femmes! (diane?) The first year of first baby is like nothing else before or the future.

I think the feeling of being overwhelmed comes from how dependent they are and how that makes them so important to you. It is probably a thing where being overwhelmed creates an unprecendented mindset for intense bonding.

I wouldn't worry too much about not 'knowing what to do'. There are countless books, magazines, websites to give specific information about past 1 year old. But, as long as the basics are stable (house, income, etc.) the rest will come pretty easily. There is no one way to do most things and as each day unfolds things become evident.

It may be easy for me to say because my wife seemed to know everything and I just went along. But I learned how to do lots of stuff (diapers, etc) and helped with lots of things indirectly. Getting to play with baby/infant was the best.

As far as your mother, I can't say much. I'm sorry it is so rocky. Maybe this will give an opportunity to stop the old fights. It also, however, could create new rifts if she tries to tell you how to do everything.

I personally never fought with my mom, but, in hindshight, I feel bad that I spent so little time with her. My dad was gone, sister had gone to college and I wanted to go out every night. So she was alone in our big old house.

Now, with my kids, I see that they mean everything and I want to be a part of a lot of their lives. Of course I also know that they have to 'separate' etc.

One big recent change is that they let me know that I was drinking too much beer. It hadn't seemed like a problem for the longest time. But it got to be where when I passed a certain amount I would start getting too 'honest' and expressed myself very sarcastically (hurtfully) toward them.

Since their respect is so important, I have cut way back and now feel much better about many aspects of my life.

(femmes, sorry about any past bs I threw at you in those heady days of of '05-'06) Smile
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 5:54 pm
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I have to say, I'm appreciating my parents immensely right now.

I mentioned I was going to L.A. for spring break to visit my friend Jenny from here at school, which ended a week ago. I had a great time, I'm glad I went and I'd like to go back sometime and see some more of it, but I don't think I can ever stay with her family again. It just drains me. The first night or two it was funny the way they were always talking at each other and good-naturedly fighting and the house was always noisy. I even joked about being from a WASP family where you would never see behavior like that. But by the end of the week I was struggling so hard to remain polite when I really just wanted to run away screaming.

First of all, their house is pretty small for four grown people -- understandable, since it's L.A. and property value is high. I'm not one to judge since it's about the size my house was when I was a kid. But Jenny's dad is a working actor who does mostly guest spots on television, and her mom currently works from home (though she's about to get an office). So not only is the house small, but they're both home pretty much all the time. And you can always hear everything that everyone is saying. There's no privacy in the house. My last night there I was reading before falling asleep and Jenny was already asleep, and her mom just kept coming right into the room and telling me I should go to sleep, even after I explained I have insomnia and I was waiting for my sleeping pill to kick in. Never mind the fact that I'm twenty-one and am therefore in charge of my own sleep schedule. Which is another thing about the house -- no one ever listens to anyone else. They're always fighting because everyone is constantly convinced that they are right and they do nothing but interrupt each other and talk over each other until my head wanted to explode.

Another thing stemming from Jenny's mom telling me to go to sleep and the reason I'm posting this in the Parents thread -- they are a scarily co-dependent family. I always knew Jenny talked to her parents a lot. We lived together last summer and we would Skype them pretty much every night from our room, plus she talked to them on the phone during the day. But the experience is so much different when you're there in person seeing both sides of it. Jenny's parents have total control over her life and she makes no effort to wrest the control from them. That same last night I was there we got invited to a club with some people we had met at a party. I wanted to go but Jenny wasn't sure she should since we had an early morning flight the next day and she had an audition as soon as we got back to school. To me, that was a decision she should make herself. I personally would have gone to the club and napped on the plane in her situation. But the first words out of her mouth were, "My parents will never let me go."

In retrospect, I must have looked at her funnily. "Jenny, you're twenty-one years old."

"Yeah, but I still live in their house," she said as if I should have understood.

I think I replied "Barely," but she had stopped listening. She immediately called her parents and talked to them on the phone about it for maybe fifteen minutes. Then when we got home there was another half-hour conversation with them about it. I hid in her room for about half of it, and for parts of the rest of the night.

Now, I'm the youngest in the family. I still depend entirely on my parents for tuition and living expenses. And so if I have a decision to make that has to do with money -- whether I should buy a broadsword for stage combat class, or if I'd like to go on a trip for spring break -- I ask my parents because, after all, it's their money. But for decisions that really only have to do with my life? Like where I'm going to spend the summer (though I can only stay here at school if I get a job), or if I'm going downstate to stay the weekend with a friend at his college, or how to deal with a professor that I clash with? That's on me. My parents trust that they've raised me well (and I think they have) and that I'm willing to accept the consequences for my own choices. Last summer I drove eleven hours to go home for 4th of July on a whim without telling them, and while they freaked a little at first that I did it alone, now they trust me to keep making that drive and that I can handle it.

I guess it's kind of hard for me to recognize that there's an alternative. Like when I spent my first summer nannying and had to be instructed that I needed to make sure the kids (who ranged in age from 8-12) had brushed their teeth and their hair in the morning. It just never occurred to me that kids that age would need to be told that because when I was that old I was just responsible for things like that myself.

In Jenny's case, though, it kind of worries me. I understand that she's usually a long way from home and she misses her parents, but by the time you're old enough to legally drink I'm gonna go ahead and say it's time to cut the cord. Jenny's very smart, but she's still like a kid in a lot of ways. One of our running jokes is that she needs a leash when we're out together so she doesn't wander off and get lost. She chases bunnies and collects pretty shells at the beach. She's really genuinely curious about pretty much everything and asks me a million questions I couldn't possibly know the answer to. Spring break made me realize just how deep those qualities go, but in this case it makes me nervous that she's never going to be able to exist as a person outside of her parents. It's like what bergenergy said above me about knowing your kids have to separate:
bergenergy wrote:
Now, with my kids, I see that they mean everything and I want to be a part of a lot of their lives. Of course I also know that they have to 'separate' etc.

One big recent change is that they let me know that I was drinking too much beer. It hadn't seemed like a problem for the longest time. But it got to be where when I passed a certain amount I would start getting too 'honest' and expressed myself very sarcastically (hurtfully) toward them.

Since their respect is so important, I have cut way back and now feel much better about many aspects of my life.

I think the fact that they were willing to confront you about the beer thing in a civil and caring way (that's how it sounds, at least) says a lot about their level of independence (and respect, too).

I don't mean to imply that Jenny's parents are bad parents. I don't know them nearly well enough to make that judgment and from what I saw, her younger brother isn't nearly as dependent on them. I just know that when I got to the airport to leave L.A., I texted my mumma and told her I decided to come home for Easter weekend after all because I needed to be in my own house to recover. I'll be there alone for the first two days before my parents get back from Key West, something I can't imagine Jenny's parents ever allowing. And it's going to be just me and the dog, and it'll be silent, and it'll be exactly what I need.
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femmes
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Joined: 11 May 2005
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 22, 2010 12:43 am
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Congratulations femmes! (diane?)


Thanks! (It's Libby)

Quote:
(femmes, sorry about any past bs I threw at you in those heady days of of '06-'06)


It's fine. I know I left the forum for a while there, and when I left, it was in a huff, so I think that anything that went on in the past here is, you know, in the past Smile

As for my mom and me, it's not that our relationship is so terribly rocky, it's that when we do clash, it's intense because we are so close. I like that I'm close with her and I wouldn't change it for anything. It's just that that closeness means I can tell her anything, including anything that she does that I find aggravating and vice versa. I couldn't talk to my dad in the same way. He left before I was born and didn't resurface until I was 14, so there is a discomfort there that the past 10 years has not settled.

Bergenergy, I think the fact that your kids were able to talk to you about your drinking shows a comfort level that is really awesome. It is probably similar to what I have with my mom. The thing is my mom is not always mature about things like her health, so when I confront her about it, we fight. (I'm not claiming I am always the mature one because I know I'm not!)

And thank you for the parenting advice. I know that most of it comes naturally, and there are resources available to help new parents. I think the fear just comes from the fact that I have never felt like a grown up in the six years I have been living on my own, and now I have a child. I feel like I haven't even mastered being an adult who keeps up on laundry and housework, how can I be a parent? Through the whole pregnancy, I was terrified, not of childbirth (although I should have been! Owww!!!!), but of raising a child. My husband has just been, "Oh, we'll do great," and his confidence in our ability has not comforted me, just made me think he's naive.

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Evie is such a pretty name


Thank you!! It took us a while. She didn't have a name until the next day Very Happy It was between Evie Mae and Penelope (Penny) Lane (Lane is my mom's maiden name.)
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apexsensation
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Joined: 22 Jun 2003
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 07, 2013 4:46 am
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bergenergy wrote:
As for my kids, 21 and 16, I am in the awkward position of wanting them to be more wild, but realizing that I shouldn't want that. I have recently come to accept that it is a 'good thing' to have kids who don't drink or smoke weed.

Basically, I would be very happy knowing they didn't do that stuff, as long as they did other stuff. It is hard for me to accept that the only alternatives to 'partying' are watching TV or studying.


It's certainly a different way to view it than most parents would. Have things changed at all in these areas?

My father had a much more wild life than I, which didn't impact me (a much more tame person) as I didn't hear about most of his stories (still haven't) until adulthood. My sister gained more of that rebel reputation than I, which I doubt my parents were pleased about.
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bergenergy
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Joined: 24 Apr 2005
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 07, 2013 8:07 pm
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apexsensation wrote:
bergenergy wrote:
As for my kids, 21 and 16, I am in the awkward position of wanting them to be more wild, but realizing that I shouldn't want that. I have recently come to accept that it is a 'good thing' to have kids who don't drink or smoke weed.

Basically, I would be very happy knowing they didn't do that stuff, as long as they did other stuff. It is hard for me to accept that the only alternatives to 'partying' are watching TV or studying.


It's certainly a different way to view it than most parents would. Have things changed at all in these areas?

My father had a much more wild life than I, which didn't impact me (a much more tame person) as I didn't hear about most of his stories (still haven't) until adulthood. My sister gained more of that rebel reputation than I, which I doubt my parents were pleased about.


It has changed some in that they are now 25 and 20. Adri, the younger one, joined the marching band at UC Davis and gets into a fair amount of shenanigans with them. ('If it's Tuesday and you are in the band and you are in Dorm X, then you have to take your shirt off' Laughing ) They do a fair amount of drinking, and throwing up it seems. She is having a ton of fun.

Rosalie and her boyfriend are now living together and behaving as adults, as in going to fashionable restaurants and having cocktails.
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thegirlinthesong
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Joined: 19 Mar 2006
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Location: El Pueblo de Nuestra Seņora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula

PostPosted: Tue Apr 09, 2013 3:58 pm
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I've been out of my parents' house for about six months now. I'm visiting them for my mom's birthday right now, and my mom told me she's going back into a residential program for her depression. Last time this happened -- last summer -- I was still living with them and was able to quit my job and take care of the house and finances while she was gone. This time I'm in California and it's just gonna be my daddy here by himself. A part of me wants to come back and help again. I'd have to leave my job, and my boyfriend, and my apartment halfway through my lease, so I know I can't do it. My sister lives in Boston and she's even more tethered to her life than I am to mine. If anyone was gonna come home and help it would be me, but I know my parents would never stand for it.

So, day drinking it is.
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